Another Angel of Love Page 7

  Tears came to Gary’s eyes and he paused to regain his composure. He tried to express his sorrow that she was gone but was overtaken by emotion. After a few moments, Mr. Engelmann stood and began to clap. The congregation followed and Gary stepped down from the podium.

  As everyone left, they talked about the prayer evening and how different it had been from what they were accustomed to. It had been more like a family get-together where everyone recalled the times they had shared together. And that was exactly what Mr. Engelmann had wanted—a celebration of Anna’s life with family and friends.

  As Henry walked to the car with his parents, he noticed Gary ahead heading home. “Dad, I’ll meet you and Mom at home in fifteen minutes, okay? I’m going to catch up with Gary and walk home with him.”

  “That’s fine, Henry,” his dad said.

  “Hey Gary, wait up!” Henry hollered as he ran down the street. When he caught up to Gary, Henry put his hand on his friend’s shoulder and patted it.

  “Geez, it is good to see ya, Gary. I didn’t know you were coming to the funeral.”

  “I didn’t know either until the last minute. One of the teachers drove in to Regina after dinner and I was able to catch a ride in with him. I’ll go back to Notre Dame in the morning. I just wanted to be here for one of her services.”

  The boys walked in silence for almost a quarter of a block before Henry broke the silence. “That was real nice what you said about Mrs. Engelmann. I was close to her too.”

  They were quiet for a moment then Henry suddenly turned to his friend. “What Mrs. Leibel said tonight was so true. I was there in the store when it happened. I was getting stock for the shelves and Mrs. Leibel and Mrs. Engelmann were each sitting on a box, praying. Suddenly Mrs. Engelmann slid off the box, got on her knees and said, ‘Jesus, I will not get up until You deliver Agnes from the awful burden of anguish she carries for her son.’ ”

  “So what happened then?” Gary stopped and looked at him.

  “I’m not kidding, Gary—it was almost like electricity filled the air! I couldn’t get off the ladder to take the stock to the front of the store if I wanted to. All of a sudden Mrs. Leibel began to cry and a sort of radiance came into her face. And I just knew something good happened to her right then.” He added, “Ever since that day Mrs. Leibel never looked so sad again. It was just like she said tonight.”

  “It’s really too bad about John. I remember the guys teasing him about his pimply face. It sure bothers me when kids tease others. We can be so insensitive and look what it can lead to.”

  Henry nodded. “Yeah, the guy hung himself. Geez, we all just want to be accepted more than anything and it makes me crazy that people try to make themselves feel better by making someone else feel worse. I try to stop it whenever I can.”

  “Me too. But, yeah, you’re right about Mrs. Engelmann, Hank. I was in that storeroom many times and heard her on the phone comforting someone. It sure touched me what she was doing. She was such a holy person. ”

  “So, you’re really still planning to go into the priesthood?”

  “Yeah, maybe. This past year Father Murray was talking quite a bit about this lady in India. She’s a nun who started up Missionaries of Charity—her name is Mother Teresa. Jane and I were thinking that maybe we would try to go there for a year or two before pursuing a vocation.”

  “Wow, that sounds like some adventure, going all the way to India!”

  “Yeah, that’s why Jane and I thought we should spend the summer preparing by visiting hospitals, care homes, and working in the Salvation Army and places like that.”

  “You seem so sure about what you want to do. It’s the first time I ever heard of anybody our age doing something like that.”

  “Well, Mrs. Engelmann influenced me a lot. I’m sure going to miss her.”

  “So, I guess you won’t be working at the store this summer?”

  “Maybe the odd Saturday if you need me. Jane and I have our plans pretty well set. And, as things turned out, we both received scholarships that will pay for our tuition at Notre Dame next year, so it’s not so critical that we get jobs this summer.”

  “It looks like the Lord is looking after you and preparing your way.”

  “That’s what Jane and I think…we want to carry out His will.”

  Henry looked at his friend and was at a loss as what more he could say about all this. His friend showed such maturity and confidence in his purpose.

  “What about the military? Being a chaplain, I mean? Are you still thinking about that?”

  “I know my dad wants me to do that, but I don’t know any more. Being around fighting and war just sort of bothers me. I think we should be learning about loving and understanding each other rather than killing each another. My dad and I argue about it all the time—I guess we just have different views.”

  “I think I know what you mean, Gary. Still, someone has to defend us against other countries…well, you know, take Russia, for instance—they’re always talking about nuclear bombs.”

  “Yeah, my dad says that all the time, ‘peace is maintained by a show of power and force.’ I understand that but I think we also need to be peacemakers. God is the greatest power and the answer to world peace. Look, Hank, all through history wars have dominated the scene as people attempt to rule the world. And it’ll never change until we learn to get along, accept each other’s differences, love each other, pray for each other—you know. Just think what would happen if everyone started praying for peace.”

  The thought boggled Henry’s mind. He could see the difference between Gary’s way and his dad’s. While Gary’s dad had faith in man, Gary was growing to have trust and faith in God and His power to bring about peace. And what was more, it was giving him such confidence, security and purpose. Gary had anchored himself to something bigger and stronger than he was. Henry had seen something similar in his mother and for sure in the Engelmanns. He couldn’t get over how his long- time friend was changing, how much he seemed to have grown and matured beyond his years.

  “My dad says I don’t live in the real world, that I’m too soft and weak. He hoped that a strict school like Notre Dame would straighten me out, toughen me up.”

  “Geez, what do you say to him? Do you get into big fights?”

  “Well, I tell him Notre Dame has strengthened me. They’ve taught me that love, prayer, belief in God and following God’s will is where the real power is, and that strong people with that kind of purpose in mind are needed to carry it out. And yeah, we used to get into arguments but not anymore. I used to get so defensive, so hurt by his comments I’d stay mad at him for days.”

  “I think I would too, Gary.”

  “But I realize now that I am a child of God, and what He created is good. We’re all good, Hank, and just because we have different points of view doesn’t make any of us better than the others.”

  “You’ve really thought this out.”

  “My ethics teacher at Notre Dame said relationships can be healed silently. Just trust in God and prayer can accomplish far more than attack and argument. There’s a lot more peace in the house since I’ve started doing that. And its allowing me to understand and accept my dad where he’s at. Someday, I hope he’ll let go and understand and accept me too.”

  For the first time Henry felt a twinge of envy at his friend’s growth, at how he had matured and become so strong within himself in such a short time. He was reminded of Mr. Engelmann saying that how we live our lives can have tremendous influence on others. He could feel Gary’s example like a hot iron searing into his heart.

  Henry broke the long silence. “Well, hopefully it will all work out between you and your dad.”

  Gary turned to him. “And what about you, Hank? Did Jenny ever write to you? I’ve been praying that she would.”

  “No, she hasn’t. But I have a plan, though; I’ve been
working on it a long time and I’ll finally be able to carry it out this year. Soon I’ll know what happened.”

  Gary nodded thoughtfully. “I’ll continue to pray for you both. I’m beginning to see the power of prayer and the power in letting go and letting God take over.”

  Henry looked at his friend and then down at his watch as they reached the streetlight at the corner. “I’d like to share my plan with you, Gary, but it’s getting late and I still have to prepare for a reading at tomorrow’s mass for Mrs. Engelmann. Maybe I’ll write to you about it. Thanks for praying for us.”

  “Yeah, well, let me know—that’d be great.”

  “It was sure good seeing you, Gary.”

  “Same here, Hank.”

  The boys did their secret handshake as they had so many times over the years. The love and friendship between them seemed to brighten the rays of light from the street lamp for a moment before they turned and went their separate ways.

  Back on his block, Henry walked past his house to where Jenny once lived. The lights were all out in her old house, but for Henry the light of his first love still lingered, so much so that he half expected to see Jenny come out the front door. His hand brushed the top of the gatepost. He looked down, hoping against hope for another note fastened with an elastic. But there was nothing there except a sliver of peeling paint, a sign that time had passed and deterioration had set in. He felt like an angel with only one wing and wondered if Jenny ever felt the same. If only they could hold each other once more, they would be able to soar.

  He flicked the peeling paint with a forefinger, patted the post and walked home.

  Henry quickly brushed his teeth, got into his pajamas and sat at his desk, curious as to which scripture Mrs. Engelmann wanted him to read at the funeral tomorrow. He stared at the brown paper bag on the edge of his desk, thinking Mrs. Engelmann’s Bible deserved to be held in a jeweled box or something that somehow indicated its sacredness. He was impressed once more by how completely unpretentious the Engelmanns were, just plain simple folk living such a profoundly rich life.

  Henry reached for the bag and slowly pulled out the burgundy leather Bible. He still couldn’t believe she’d wanted him to have it. The cover was worn, its edges well-thumbed, yet it struck him as having been tenderly cared for. The book felt warm, almost as if Mrs. Engelmann had just let go of it. He recalled reading to her from it when he visited. It had always felt good in his hands. Mrs. Engelmann had loved this Bible so much…and now it was his. He’d treasure it always.

  A plastic bookmark and a white piece of paper stuck out from the top of the gilt-edged pages. Henry opened it first to the bookmark and saw an underlined passage: Isaiah 26:3 “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee.”

  Yes, Mrs. Engelmann’s mind was always on the Lord. Even in her pain, she was in peace.

  Henry’s eyes wandered to the bookmark he held in his hand. When he turned it over, he discovered it had a guardian angel prayer written on the back, the one he’d said almost every night since he’d met Jenny. “Angel of God, my guardian dear…” Amazing! He’d never have dreamed Mrs. Engelmann would’ve known that prayer. On the other side of the bookmark was a beautiful angel with long, flowing golden hair hovering over a boy and girl walking across a high bridge, hand-in-hand above a deep canyon, water gushing and crashing into the rocks below them. The boy and the girl reminded Henry of him and Jenny. They were holding hands, the guardian angel watching over them, protecting them. How Henry wished Jenny were here with him now. He could almost feel her hand in his. But just as Mr. Engelmann would no longer hold the hand of his beloved wife, Henry feared he’d never hold Jenny’s again, either.

  Before reading Mrs. Engelmann’s note, Henry opened the front cover of the Bible. At the top of the page were the names of two people, below them were the names of another two, and below that was Mrs. Engelmann’s name. Under her name, written in German, were the words Wir lieben dich. It was signed Mutter und Vater, 12 June 1914.

  Henry was surprised to see his name on the opposite page: To Henry, whom David and I, in our hearts, adopted as a son. A rush of love swept over him. He was so close to the Engelmanns. According to the names listed, Mrs. Engelmann’s Bible had been handed down for three generations. Henry felt privileged and blessed to receive it as part of Mrs. Engelmann’s family and carry on the tradition.

  He sat back and took a deep breath. The Bible was such a beautiful gift to him and yet he wished he could share it with Gary. Henry knew his friend’s bond to Mrs. Engelmann was just as special. Gary would have loved to receive this as well.

  Henry read Mrs. Engelmann’s inscription again. He really felt like he was their adopted son. He remembered one morning in particular during one of his visits to Mrs. Engelmann’s room. She’d often had the Bible open and by her side facing Henry, a mute request for him to read the chapters the book was opened to. That morning, just as Henry had been about to read, Mrs. Engelmann had softly placed her hand on top of his own. “You have been like a son in our lives, Henry. We are so grateful your parents have allowed you to share your life with us.”

  There had been tears in Anna’s eyes when he glanced up at her and, unsure what else to do, Henry had begun to read, hearing his voice but more conscious of Mrs. Engelmann’s hand on his than what he read. He had felt her love in that moment and he hoped she had felt his love for her in return. “Your voice is so clear and strong Henry,” she had often said, thanking him over and over for reading to her. Henry was beginning to see how both Mrs. and Mr. Engelmann helped him feel good about himself; always building up his self-image.

  When Henry left after these visits, he always turned the Bible back around and laid it on her lap so she could continue to read. That morning, he’d hesitated for a moment and then bent down to kiss her cheek. She’d smiled and thanked him for coming. After that, every time Henry visited he would kiss Mrs. Engelmann goodbye as naturally as if she’d been his own mother. Henry felt that love between them surge through him now. He was nervous about getting up and reading in front of a bunch of people—based on the turnout at tonight’s prayers, the funeral was likely to be packed—but he promised himself that tomorrow he would read to the best of his ability. He thought of how Gary had gotten up and spoken so boldly about Mrs. Engelmann. Tomorrow he would do the same. He would read for Mrs. Engelmann.

  Henry sat up, straightened his back and opened the Bible to the scripture Mrs. Engelmann had marked with a short letter. Tears trickled down his face even before he began to read:

  Dear Henry,

  By the time you read this, I will be with the Lord. All of my life this Bible has been my constant companion and guiding light. I pray that it will guide your path, too. You have been such a blessing to David and me. We prayed many times for a child when we were young, but I accepted long ago that the Lord’s plan for our marriage didn’t include children. What a surprise that so many years later, our prayer was finally answered: the Lord had given us you! We didn’t realize it right away, but the more you came into our lives, the more we grew to love you and consider you our son. You will never fully realize how much you have helped us and the joy you have brought into our lives.

  Thank you for all the times you came to visit, the talks we had and those precious times when you read the Bible to me when I was too tired and weak to read on my own. You have a wonderfully expressive voice and I have often repeated in my mind the words you read long after you left.

  I have asked David to give you my Bible. It’s the one possession I have treasured most in my life. It has been in our family for a long time. And because we consider you part of our family, David and I both feel this Bible should be given into your care. Treasure it always. It is the key to heaven and the source of great blessings.

  I would make a last request of you, Henry. Would you be so kind as to read St. Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, Chapter 13, verses 1 to 13 on
love at my funeral mass? I so love the way you read it to me and I would like you to read it one more time for me as I leave this earthly life.

  May God bless you always,

  Love, Anna

  Henry could barely read the last paragraph. He wiped his eyes with his fingertips and read the passage Mrs. Engelmann had requested. After reading verses one to thirteen, Henry realized that St. Paul’s letter to the Corinthians perfectly described Mrs. Engelmann. Suddenly, the scripture Henry had heard many times before came to life. He understood it all so clearly. He could hardly wait to share his insight the following day.

  “What a beautiful gift,” Henry murmured as he closed the Bible and crawled into bed. He pictured Mr. Engelmann getting into bed, thinking of and missing his Anna. It must be so strange and feel so empty. Mr. Engelmann surely understood completely how Henry felt without Jenny. And Henry felt Mr. Engelmann’s loss anew. How he must be feeling…the ache in his heart, the loss, the sorrow…how much he missed Anna… how much Henry missed Jenny.

  Henry rolled over and began praying to his guardian angel for comfort. That his protector would fly to Mr. Engelmann and to Jenny and send them his love. Yeah, both Anna and Jenny were angels, both so beautiful. Mrs. Engelmann is in heaven with her angel tonight and Jenny’s is protecting her, watching over her like the pewter angel inscription I sent her promised. He wondered if Jenny was in bed thinking of him now too. He tried to visualize Jenny curled up in her bed and he lay beside her, his arm around her, holding her. He prayed that sleep would take him soon lest his heart would surely break. He prayed for Mr. Engelmann that sleep had overtaken him as well. The bed beside him was all too empty now.

  Jenny looked out the car window at the bright full moon reflecting on the hood of James’ shiny black sports car. It was almost midnight and they had just returned from the city after seeing a movie. Jenny always felt uncomfortable when James dropped her off at home late at night. It was usually then that James did his best to get physical. To ward off his advances Jenny did her best to distract him with what was becoming a recurrent complaint.