Another Angel of Love Page 12
Perhaps it was the coolness that both men felt; the sun had long since gone on its journey into the western sky and no longer warmed the air. But perhaps more than that it was a growing awareness of each other’s presence that caused them both to stir.
Mr. Engelmann woke first and did what Henry had wanted to do earlier; he reached out a hand and placed it upon his beloved adopted son’s.
Henry woke, thinking that if he shared how much the customers missed Mr. Engelmann it might help him to get going again. “You know, Mr. Engelmann, the customers sure miss you. They already miss Mrs. Engelmann terribly, and your absence from the store only makes their loss feel greater.”
“Yes, yes, I am aware of that Henry. It seems I just don’t want my mind to be filled with anything else but my Anna. She was the love of my life, along with the Lord. It is so hard for me to let go and allow the thoughts of daily living to steal away even one of the precious memories I have of her.”
“But she’s still here in spirit, isn’t she?”
“Yes, of course. I feel her with me all the time but I miss seeing her in the store and coming up to see her at the end of the day.”
“I understand, Mr. Engelmann, how alone you must feel.”
Mr. Engelmann nodded and went on. “As ill as she was, she would still smile and greet me with a kiss. And occasionally, Henry, when her illness gave her a brief respite, she would have dinner prepared and waiting, with soft music and only a candle to illuminate our meal. She was always young at heart and no amount of pain or suffering could snuff out her romantic spirit.”
Geez, it must be so hard for Mr. Engelmann to come up to an empty apartment and eat alone.
Henry placed his other hand on top of Mr. Engelmann’s trying to let him know how sorry he was, how much he cared. Mr. Engelmann squeezed Henry’s hand, then slid his own from underneath it to wipe the tear sliding down his cheek.
He nodded several times before he spoke. “Ich vermisse meine Anna, Heinrich. I miss her deeply.”
Henry nodded, feeling the older man’s sorrow but didn’t know what more words to say; he could only hope that simply being here helped.
The silence was broken by Mrs. Schmidt softly calling his name. Henry checked his watch. 6:05. Geez, I better close up the store! “I have to go close up, Mr. Engelmann. Do you want me to come back up after?”
“No, that’s fine. Just turn out the lights and lock the store. Thank you for coming up. I will see you tomorrow.”
Henry was reluctant to leave. He so wished he could do something to help. But Henry understood loss. You don’t get over it, ever. It just has to weave into your heart somehow… enough so that you can go on.
The next day and the next, Henry came up again. Each time Mr. Engelmann shared a little more about Anna and his loss. Henry had heard much of it on the day Anna died when they had gone out back and Mr. Engelmann shared the story of their courtship and marriage. But he didn’t mind. He just let Mr. Engelmann talk and he listened, much the way his mentor did when Henry was hurting. It had always helped to be heard and Henry hoped it would help Mr. Engelmann now too.
And then came a day when Henry arrived at work to hear music playing in the store. It wasn’t his favourite, it was the classical kind Mr. Engelmann and Anna liked to listen to. But when Henry saw his teacher behind the counter ready for whatever the day would bring, Henry liked that music more than ever before.
The following Tuesday, Henry took the day off to visit with Gary and his friend Jane. Henry planned to pick them up at the Salvation Army and together the three of them were going out for dinner and a movie. There was a new restaurant called a&w they were dying to try out.
Henry was early; he wanted to know what his friends did at the Salvation Army. Gary and Jane and several other workers were just finishing serving meals to men of all ages. Some wore old, ill-fitting clothes and yet many were well dressed. Some looked young and capable; Henry wondered what on earth they were doing there when they seemed perfectly able of working and fending for themselves. And his friends were serving them yet! Still, the Salvation Army was there for those who needed it.
Gary had told him that at the end of the month when most of the men received their government support cheques the kitchen slowed right down for several days as many of them would buy liquor and go on a three or four day drinking binge. Then, when their money ran out, they’d return for another handout. Henry hadn’t understood it then and now, seeing how capable some of them appeared, he wondered if he could stand there with an open heart and serve them as Gary did.
Henry turned his gaze to Jane. He’d liked her from the first moment they’d met. She was a gracious, gentle girl with clear hazel eyes much like Mr. Engelmann’s, with that same kindly shine that seemed never to go out. Her light brown hair was mostly hidden beneath the kerchief she donned most days. There was no sign of any cosmetic on her face. She always wore long-sleeved blouses or sweaters and heavy stockings so that as little of her skin as possible was revealed. But despite her modesty in dress, Jane was a very beautiful girl with a smile that instantly put others at ease.
All the workers wore small wooden crosses around their necks. They were there to serve Jesus. Once again Henry wondered if he could do it, devote his life like that. He watched Gary and Jane dish out meals to the last of the men in the line. They looked good together and Henry thought they would make a great husband and wife team. And yet, according to Gary, they were each married to the Lord and seemed content just sharing a deep friendship.
Gary was talking to one of his co-workers as he took off his apron. The other worker seemed to be motioning him and Jane to go ahead and leave. Gary patted the man’s shoulder and came to greet Henry.
“Hi Hank,” Gary said, beaming and giving Henry their special handshake. “Jane’ll be along in a minute. So, how are you doing?”
“Pretty good. Things are starting to get back to normal at the store but it’s not the same without Mrs. Engelmann.”
“For sure, it wouldn’t be, Hank. She was the kindest person I ever knew. People loved her—and Mr. Engelmann too, of course—but there was just something special about her that gave the store heart. Know what I mean?”
“Perfectly, Gary, I feel exactly the same…Oh, hi, Jane.”
Jane made her way towards them, a radiant smile on her face. She pulled the kerchief from atop her head, allowing her hair to drop and hang loosely on her shoulders in soft curls. She carried a small Bible in her other hand.
“I don’t know about you two, but I sure could go for one of those frosty root beers I keep hearing about,” she said.
“Yeah, me too—let’s go,” Henry agreed.
A&w was crowded when they got there but after a short wait they managed to get a spot at a picnic table out front.
“Geez, some place, huh?” Henry said as the three gazed around and took it all in.
“Just look at that line-up of cars! They must be making a killing here,” Henry said, his business instincts buzzing.
“I can hardly wait to try one of their apple pies,” Jane chimed in. “And their onion rings are supposed to be really good, too.”
“You know, we’re lucky we got this table, we’d have waited forever in the car,” Gary said.
“Having people drive up and eat their meals in the car means they can get them through faster and serve more people; must be how they keep the prices so low,” Henry observed. “In fact,” he said, checking his wallet, “dinner’s on me.”
They got their orders and Henry couldn’t wait to dig in. That’s when he noticed Jane and Gary had joined hands and were each holding one out towards him. Geez, they’re going to pray—here? Henry sort of glanced to the side to see if anyone in the line-up was watching, then took their hands in his.
Gary and Jane bowed their heads and Gary prayed, “Bless, oh Lord, these thy gifts which we are about to receive through Yo
ur goodness and bounty.”
“Amen,” Jane said.
Henry mouthed the word, a red-hot flush heating his cheeks.
“Thanks for treating us, Henry; it looks great! Let’s dig in,” said Gary as he unwrapped his double-patty Papa Burger and took a huge bite. The others did the same.
Afterwards, they took in a great movie at the Broadway Theatre. Ben-Hur, it was called. All three thought it was an amazing film. It had been three years since Henry had had such an enjoyable outing.
When Henry came in to work the next day he could tell right away his boss was nearly his old self again, at least on the outside. Mr. Engelmann’s eyes twinkled as he asked about the movie night.
“It was such a great movie, Mr. Engelmann—I heard it was the most expensive movie ever made, and did it ever pay off! That Charlton Heston can really act—I’ll bet he gets an Academy Award—and there’s this chariot race…you know, I’d really like to see it again. Why don’t you come with me?”
“That would be a real treat, Henry; I haven’t been to a movie or out to the theatre in years. Anna and I used to go all the time when we first came to Canada, but the demands of the store made going out an expense we couldn’t often afford, and then Anna got so ill…” his words trailed off for a moment, then he quickly brought himself back to the here and now. “I’d love to see the movie with you, Henry, just name the day.”
When Mrs. Schmidt got in around ten, Mr. Engelmann surprised him by suggesting they go out back and have a soda pop. “It’s a beautiful day, we should enjoy it a bit.”
Henry opened two Dr. Peppers and carried them outside, sitting in his usual spot to wait for his mentor. Shortly after, Mr. Engelmann joined him and the two settled in to talk.
After Henry had enthused a little more about Ben-Hur, the topic shifted to his friends, Gary and Jane, and their work at the Salvation Army. He told his teacher what he’d observed there; how many of the men were young and seemed quite capable of working. It didn’t seem right to Henry that they could use their social aid cheques to buy booze and go on binges, and then go there to be fed. It would really bother him to serve them if he knew they were doing that. How could Gary and Jane serve them every day and not expect more from them?
“If it were me, I’d tell them to get out there and get a job like the rest of us!” Henry finally exclaimed.
“Yes, yes, it seems like they are taking advantage of young Gary and Jane, using them, no?”
“Yeah, that’s it exactly, Mr. Engelmann,” Henry said, his voice rising in indignation. “I don’t see how catering to those young men helps them at all. What good deed are my friends doing?”
“They are serving their Lord by serving His children and doing so unconditionally and lovingly, Henry.”
Henry turned to his mentor, puzzled.
“They are there to serve them, Henry, not to judge them. Perhaps it is their hope and prayer that these men come to Christ. Someday they may go out and find work, but it is not for your friends to place any judgment or expectation on those they serve. If they did, they would strip them of the little pride and self-respect they have left. Many would stop coming and perhaps get into even greater trouble. These men need to be loved—just as they are. Remember, Henry, flowers grow so beautifully only because they are exposed to lots of sunshine and nourishment,” Mr. Engelmann winked.
But it immediately dawned on Henry that this was exactly how Mr. Engelmann accepted him. He’d always felt free to expose his faults and weaknesses and never had to be defensive. In Mr. Engelmann’s care and guidance he never felt the shadow of judgement or blame.
“It’s always easy to judge, Henry,” Mr. Engelmann went on. “What we see on the outside cannot reveal the secrets of a man’s soul. What is the saying, ‘Never judge a book by its cover’? The story inside may be completely different from what we expect. Each of those men has a story, something that brought him to this point in his life. If you were to walk in the shoes of one of those men for a day, if you had access to his past, to his story, I’m sure you would get down on your knees and thank the good Lord that you’ve had a good upbringing and a secure, loving home to go to each night.
“It is for the Lord to judge, he sees into the hearts of each of us.” Mr. Engelmann took a sip of his drink and shifted on his seat, settling more comfortably into the warped slats of the crate. Henry liked it when he did that. It was a sign that his mentor was in no hurry to get up and go back to work.
“I remember something my father shared with me one time after he heard me unkindly criticize someone else. I will never forget. He asked me to point my forefinger at him as if to make some judgment. When I did, he asked me what my other three fingers were doing.”
Henry looked down at his hand and pointed his finger, only to quickly realize the other three fingers pointed back at himself. Mr. Engelmann didn’t need to say anything more. Henry simply nodded and hung his head. He recalled the scripture he’d read just the other day: “Judge not lest ye be judged.”
They sat for a bit with their faces tilted slightly toward the sky, taking in the warmth of the sun, then another thing that had puzzled him from time to time entered Henry’s mind. It had bothered him last night at a&w.
“Why are we afraid to talk about God or pray in public, Mr. Engelmann? Last night I’m ashamed to say I was very embarrassed when Gary, Jane and I held hands and prayed before we ate.”
Mr. Engelmann nodded, “Yes yes. Es ist traurig, aber wahr. Sad but true, Henry. I have witnessed it many times in my life. Merely mention the good Lord in a conversation and suddenly there’s discomfort in the air, as if it’s not acceptable to discuss God or exhibit our love for Him.”
Henry nodded in agreement.
“To pray to God and show our love for Him is both a private and public matter. Unfortunately for many of us, we do only the former and sometimes not even that. First, the Lord asks us to acknowledge Him and give witness of our faith before men. Many times I have told you we need strong people in this world, strong people who are rooted firmly in the Lord’s Word. They stand out like a beacon and have tremendous influence over others. Their faith is contagious. Perhaps at the restaurant last evening others witnessed your boldness and were reminded of their Lord. It may have even brought someone back to Him. We will never know what our actions of faith do for others and so we must not be afraid to show our commitment to the Lord. He should be forever in our hearts and on our lips, as much as the air we breath. It is the way we work with Him for the salvation of the world.”
Mr. Engelmann smiled at Henry. “If I were to give you a gift of $50 out of the goodness of my heart, I could just see you jumping up and down thanking me. You would readily tell others of my generosity and how good and kind I am, no?”
“Well, yeah—for sure, Mr. Engelmann.”
“Henry, look around at all creation. The heavens and everything in the earth…all its beauty! Everything in the world, including you, was created by the Father. Surely this is worth more than a $50 bill? Is it not right that we should give thanks to Him for everything continuously? Nothing is ours! It all belongs to Him and yet we so take it for granted or don’t even acknowledge it; we think the world is ours and many work so hard to possess it—even hoard at times.”
Mr. Engelmann’s eyes had not left Henry’s but now his gaze carried a sternness. “When we stand before Him naked, all the possessions and treasures we have accumulated in our lives don’t mean a thing unless used for His service. It is how we acknowledge Him and His children He will consider and reward. How kind and loving were we? Did we give our brothers and sisters food and drink? Did we share our wealth? Did we forgive and, like our friends Gary and Jane, did we acknowledge Him and thank Him for the limitless bounty He has given us?”
Henry stared at his teacher, taking his words to heart in all seriousness.
“Henry, if you do not acknowledge your Lord, when yo
u show up at the pearly gates He too may say to you, “I do not know you.’ ”
Henry was speechless; his mentor spoke with such truth and clarity. It always cut right to his heart.
As they got up to go back to work, Henry looked down at his hand and again pointed his finger. Just as Mr. Engelmann had never forgotten his father’s lesson, Henry too, would always remember.
He’d be a little more careful in judging others in the future.
Chapter Eleven
The next few weeks whizzed by as Henry busied himself getting ready for school and keeping up with the ordering, maintenance, accounting, government forms, stocking and restocking associated with the business. Mr. Engelmann and Henry had to put in a lot of extra hours every day.
Henry went out with Gary twice more before school started. It was all they could work into their busy schedules. Gary and Jane were not only working a lot at the Salvation Army but during the evening they visited care homes and hospitals as well. Henry was amazed at his friends’ commitment to serve the poor and comfort the sick and shut-ins.
Eddy often came into the store to chat and buy smokes until he got a job at Simpsons-Sears working in the warehouse. His uncle was trying to get him a job at a brokerage firm so he was filling in time until then. Henry and Eddy hung out a few times and were becoming better friends as well.
For the last four Sundays, Mr. Engelmann had had dinner with Henry and his family. With each visit he was more relaxed and soon it felt like he’d always been coming for dinner on Sundays. Henry liked having him there, being part of his family. Henry noticed that his father started treating and speaking to him more like Mr. Engelmann did. When Henry walked into the living room with something to say, his dad would put the newspaper down and give him his undivided attention. Henry liked this change a lot, and it made him realize again how important it was to be a good role model, or better yet, to live a life based on good values. Without even meaning to, Mr. Engelmann’s choice to live that way had affected Henry’s entire world.